Keep working

WARNING: Meaningless post requires only lil' attention to read but I will advise you DO NOT SPEND TIME TO READ THIS ENTRY!

Non-stop working,
Non-stop thinking,
Non-stop studying,
Non-stop writing proposals, campaigns, assignments.

I can't stop working! 'cause my body mechanism will stop working once I am completely stopped for that! Perhaps, am becoming lazy bug if just stop for a while! A while....

At the same time, I wanna shout out loud

"I am beat!!!!" Extremely!!!

HELP!!!

At the same time, I love the way it is, is supposed to be THIS. I love THIS life.
NO life is what we call. *yawn*

ZzzZzz

Self- conflict

Have you guys ever wondered how to act and who to be until you figure it out yourself ? Because I did. At times, I know there is no longer "ME" in myself. The only thing I know that I am Winnie, that is a reminder, it tells me that I am Winnie. But in fact whom is it supposed to be? How to tune yourself into the real person who you really are? Well, desperately seeking for a good piece of advice.. OR perhaps I am just nobody?

Mood fluctuation tends to be higher recently as you can tell from my recent entries.

I just do NOT know why.

The Love

"No matter how hard is your life there, hold it cos u'll have our never endin' support..just think of the old days when we were being together, i believe this will give u the feeling and the taste of the warmth and care from us and home..just to let u know, u r not alone.."

Just to keep this alive in my life as my encouragement to move on.
I love my family loads. No clearly defined importance of family and friends of mine. They are simply important, extremely important in life.

I will live life to its fullest!

Jia You, Winnie!!!! =)

Bad times

Just forced myself to get up from bed in this wet evening. Wet, yes. It's freezing at outside now. I had bad times again. I really am stressed and my self-esteem is getting low. Sometimes, I even doubt my ability to cope with real hard situations. I even had a bad dream just now. How my life is settled down in states and deal with real hard times are totally a bad dream to me. Worst of all, how could I even dream of it !!!

Is that Virgo baby loved complaining?

I simply love to complain much than what you think of me. People said I am troublesome. Yes, I am. So what? Who cares? This is me, this is my life.

First complaint : I have got 2/10 for my assignment. Not my fault. But whom then? Count me as an unlucky one.

Second complaint: I hate those people. You can sue me if you want to. Not systematic, slow, inefficient, to name a few. Its hopeless.

Third complaint: Love crapping but nothing inside. Hate those people.

Just simply fuck my life up. Totally! I m sicked of it now.

Fail to do everything.

There are always ups and downs in life. I thought coming over States means everything is fine, perfectly good in shape to me. I was wrong. First I came here, I was stopped to have chest Xray due to TB affection suspicious. I almost had heart attack once I received this. I did not even say this to my family. Stupidly, I thought my life was going to end as they gave me some real serious warnings. Thank God, the result was positive as I was clear to off. And my case was officially closed.

Secondly, I thought I was able to come to Towson means I was qualified, met all requirements because they did not reject my application. And guess what happened. Currently, I am not an official student of Towson University. Mainly because the department denied my application and I was not allowed to get in my major now. I do not know what to do now. I am lost. I was accepted by Towson University doesn't mean that I am accepted by Mass Communication department as well.

So please tell me what to do now. I feel like going back to Malaysia. However, I can't. We are no longer a kid, can do whatever we want to do. Things are not always happened in your expected ways. Again, why is it happened on me ? I wanna say how tired I am. But I know I have no rights to say that. Not even mention about it. I feel ashamed on myself now. Not being a good daughter, a good friend - never know what are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors, or actions to perform in any given situation.

I need someone to rely on, to share my moments, be it in joys or sorrows. At least once 'cause I am falling down..